the root of all evil

cash money... the pain and joy of ppls lives! ... ive been stress free for a while and now im in a crunch. count down for Bees Vegas cheep competion... hopefully i will get something back from my taxes. Vday is on its stupid way. Anthony asked what i was doing a while back.. just not a good thing for us to even try. i have court couple days after. omfggg what if i have to serve time like my dad did.. omg i cant handle that! and its days before bees comp!.. ok so 2010 isnt going as smoothly as id like it too.. gotta find stuff to stay positive about.

good girl weekend

so i didnt go out all weekend.. friday night i had a game night at my house... and it was pretty fucking fun. we played a dare jenga.. hella fun... very surprised by the crafty steady hands of my fellow playmates... (carlos was a damn animal.. scary lucky mo fo..) had to get up early for Bees cheer comp on sat. my baby is so pretty so cute and adorable on the cheer squad. i can never tell her though shes to bad ass for that. but they didnt win.. which is ok.. they are learning the ropes.. Grandma and me were about to burst with pride.. my baby girl. then i came home and passed the fuck out. was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy. n sunday was ok but bee had a little hissy fit.. cant even remeber for what but she told me she hated me. what ev. went to shira-soni for dinne. michells surprise bday. that was intresting. simpsons 20th anniversary.. damn right i watched it. then hit the bar with my fav dirty Dee... intresting night. good fckuingign times. :) gooood nigters.. :)

my dad

came home last night. when i seen him instantly my whole mood changed. im becoming more and more aware of my anger towards him. this cant be healthy. and im sure he feels it too. i know what to do about it, but i just dont want to do the work or to get over it(it=my childhood). im sooooooo very thankful hes with that lady again.. keeps him away from here for now. i didnt go to the gym last night. i fell asleep watching where the wild things are. creepy btw. Game night tonight! hope it goes well!

Jan 7 2010..

lets play catchup... so im still single. still employed. still at my dads. the goods.. i joined the gym end of nov and i feel fantastic. Zumba is My new obsession! pretty healthy obsession to have.. ok now for the bads.. i was arrested on new years for a DUI. i wasnt even close to being drunk but i guess i blew more then the legal limit .08.. lame but being overweight might actually help me out of this. i have court feb 16.. fingers crossed major praying time. last month i realized how major last year was. big big changes for me. the guy who i thought was the love of my life broke up with me. id never been broken up with totally thought i was going to die.(im very much alive and doing just fine now) i turned 30.. not as big of a deal as i thought it would be (but im very glad to be 30) im back at my dads house and its pretty convenient for the now but i think it might be time to move out on my own again very soon. i lost my best friend. my only really true friend. this was very major. i went through most of my life with out a true best friend.. i thought she would be in my life forever. i missed her 30th bday (i was completely broke, but had planned to make it up bigtime..but before i even got the chance to tell her all about it she broke up with me) she stopped talking to me. at first she was just short on words.. then stopped texting me back. my last text to her was "are you ever going to talk to me" didnt hear back from her for 3 months. then last week she just wrote "i miss you janice". what am i supposed to do with that? i didnt write back i cant. that was more painful then when Anthony broke up with me. me and him had problems very obvious problems.. but me and her i thought were bonded forever... i guess i was wrong. cest le vie. now that we are up to date im going to make it a point to write every day.. till tomorrow..