how am i?

how the fuck do u think i am? how was my day?!!!!! how the fuck do u think my day ways!!! im misreable! i cant stop crying! everything makes me think of U!!!! how am i?!!!!! how the fuck can u even ask that!!?!!??!?!?!!!!!! i FEEL LIKE SHIT! I FEEL LIKE MY WORLD IS CAVING IN ON ME! THE ONE GUY THAT I HAVE GOTTEN TO LOVE AFTER I NEVER THOUGHT ID LOVE AGAIN DONT WANT ME!!!! NOT ENOUGHT TO FUCKING CHANGE EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS HOW FUCKED UP HE IS! TO MAKE SHIT WORSE TOMORROW IS VDAY.. WAS GOING TO BE OUR FIRST VDAY. THE FIRST ONE REALLY FILLED WITH LOVE. AND U WANT TO KNOW HOW AM I?!!!!!! I AM IN FUCKING PAIN!!!! I HAVE TO PREPARE MYSELF TO NOT CRUMBLE TOMORROW! AND EVERYDAY AFTER THAT.. AND JUST HOPE IT DONT TAKE ME TO LONG TO HEAL FROM YOU REVIVING MY HEART THENNNNNN RIPPING IT OUT AND STOMPING ALL OVER IT!!! THATS HOW THE FUCK I AM?! THATS WHAT MY DAY WAS LIKE!