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Thursday, June 16, 2011

stress-- learning to deal.

still no car. thank god for my cousin Dee she has been picking me up in the am for work and picking me up after work. i have a bunch of errands i have to run today going to have to figure something out. luckily she will be able to drop me off at my dr's appt today. yeah i finally did it.. made an appt with a counselor.. many times in my life ive been overwhelmed with stress and just kept trucking.. but its gotten to the point where well its too much and i just cant deal. i know one session isnt going to fix me but i really hope she can give me some kind of pointers on how to not blow up.. do something stupid. i think the only reason i think im finally doing it now is because of this baby inside me. when things get really bad i keep thinking fuck this baby is feeling everything im feeling. after a crazy episode im so exhausted and my body aches for days.. can only imagine what its doing to my little growing peanut..
i been trying to figure out the bus schedual to get around and do what i have to do. getting to work is going to be a breeze.. getting home is another story. errands, i still have no idea what im going to do to get them done.. but i been thinking ppl go their whole lives with out ever having a car and they still get things done.. im in a tiny town im sure i will manage somehow.
my relationship with anthony.. i dont even know what to say. im so confuzzled.. and im not. so clear what has to happen then it gets all muddy and i have no idea what is the right thing to do. one thing i know for sure is im scared shitless either way it goes.
My Bee. i feel like such a looser mom.

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