I have to do better

for my self. why keep beating the unwilling.? i have been keeping at it for the sake of love. i keep thinking hes going to see what i see. i keep my heart open for him i keep my will for us strong. but what if its all for nothing? i know this is a chance i took and it seems so worth it. i felt the warmth of his love i peered into the future of us. and now its burried so deep in issues.. i cant help but to feel like a looser having lost it. but somewhere i know its not just my fault. im hurting so much right now. his words sting worse then ever. its so hard to keep my cool. its so hard to not hurt him back. its so hard to keep trying. so hard to see past all his pain. so hard to see the anthony im fighting for. i have to make sure not to loose myself before all of this is done. what ever the outcome is.. i have to stay true to myself. no more of this passive agressive shit.. i have to let my feelings be known even if it means conflict.