sleep

if only i can go to sleep and wake up when the pain is over. if only i could erase the last 8 months. if only i could forget everything that i wanted with him. please make it stop. god please make it stop hurting. why why do we have to feel this need. why the fuck do we need to love? why cant i have it? what am i doing so wrong.. i cant stand this. i wish we were different ppl and we could just have what every other couple has. i want us so bad. why why why the fuck couldnt i make it work. i dont want to be alone. i dont want to do this. at least im good at burying emotions. just more to lock up deep down.