money

takes wayyyyy longer to build up then to drain out of my bank account! But feels good to not stress over bills!
my sister said that i get to baby sit nessa! and get PAID for it! man that would be soooooo good.. to have extra money coming in.. i really want my own place to live! of course getting to baby sit nessa is awesome too.. i LOVE that kid soooo much!

so i know what im addicted to.. men. i want one so bad. i feel so i dont know incomplete with out one. sounds horrible .. i dont even care which one it is sometimes.?! im a relationship junkie! thats what makes me stick around so long? and i learned why i pick broken men! cuz of my damn dad! my dad is so messed up in the head but i dont hate him.. i dont like him but i dont hate him.. agh man i so have to go to that counselor at work. man i just need someone to help me sort through all this crap! small group is great.. im learning a lot more about myself talking to these ladies whom if it wasnt for church id never have any kind of relationship with women like this. but they rock.

anthony.. oh dear anthony.. we are broken up yet im still on a rollercoaster ride with him.. actually not really.. i think now im mostly just watching him on the rollercoaster ride. im able to just watch now.. but i do hate seeing him like this. he has this rage that.. wow... just nuts.. i feel really bad for him. and i miss the good him.. but ohhh so glad we broke up and i dont have to be around the bad him!