stupid babies

its so sad to hear him talk. i want a baby sooooo bad. i know right now is not a good time. i know that our relationship is not even close to be strong enough to even think about being parents.. but that does not make me want a baby any less. i love him so much and he would be so good to a baby.. just his thinking is so bad. i know i cant change him and i know the risks of investing all this time with him.. but i just cant stop loving him .. i think about the good in him and that just gives me this stupid hope.. like i can see past his thick layer of bad.. if only he could let go of all that hate for the world.. his hate for life. god hes missing out on so much good.. so much warmth.. so much love around him.